According to a news report from The Telegraph, a UK news agency, men can "fall in love" if they maintain eye contact with a woman for more than 8 seconds....8.2 to be exact.
Okay, if you followed anything I have ever written or been in any of my classes, you know my stance on falling in love - it doesn't happen! Think about it. How do you "fall" in love? Love isn't something you happen into. Love is a choice.
Why researchers thought this was worth revealing either shows how bad people want to understand relationships so they write anything into fact or the education system is really failing us. Of course, it could be both.
Love is an action. The English word "love" unfortunately has undergone a bad rep. It is highly misused - "I love pizza", "I love animals", "I love you", I love toe fungus" (okay maybe not but you get the drift).
Love has been so overly used in the American culture that for the most part we do have a very difficult time identifying with it, so we go Hollywood style and try to use it as if it happens upon us and not something we control.
The Bible says this:
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 (NIV)
Submission here has to do with the way a man and woman engage in a relationship. It is also how we should regard every relationship we have. Paul, the writer of Ephesians, was trying to engage the people of Ephesus in how they viewed their relationship with Christ as compared to how they had relationships with each other.
According to Paul, we are supposed to be "imitators" of Christ:
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving Ephesians 5:1-4 (NIV)Notice what he says - "live a life of love." Love is something we are supposed to do, but does that accurately describe love?
During the times of Paul, the Greeks used two main words to describe love: Phileo and Eros. Phileo meant a type of brotherly companionship. Eros, however, is a word that described a sexual intimacy.
Paul was not talking about either. He was speaking about a godly love, a sacrificial love. The term used to describe this love is agape. Agape is a sacrificial love that takes God's love and uses it to care for others. Agape sees followers of Christ as God sees them - as His children. Agape sees those who do not follow Christ as God sees them - as people He wants to have relationship with.
Notice how Paul says that sexual immorality, impurity, greed, obscenity, and coarse joking are all completely opposite of God's love. He goes on later to say that those who engage in such practices do not have the love of God and will not inherit the kingdom of God (you will not get into heaven).
Paul instead urges us to submit. Falling in love is not an option. You either choose to love or you don't. So how do I find love and relationship?
I fall back on a book I often speak of, Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships
:God's design for lasting relationships is also four steps:
- Become the right person (Become a follower of Christ)
- Walk in Love - love is a choice and requires work
- Fix your hopes on God and seek to please Him through this relationship
- If failure occurs, repeat steps 1, 2, and 3.
It's not about falling. It's about choosing. You have the choice so choose as God would choose.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. 2 Cor 6:14 (NIV)This does not mean we cannot associate with unbelievers nor that those married to unbelievers should seek a divorce! It is simply a warning to beware how nonbelievers affect our thinking. If you are single, I would highly recommend not seeking a dating relationship with an unbeliever. You are asking for trouble.
Anyway, 8 seconds is more fun for bull riders. Falling in love....hehehehehehehehahahahaha
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