Matthew 5:27-30 – The Escalation of an Affair

Jesus continues with the Ten Commandments in this passage. I am pretty sure He was focusing on the commandments that the Pharisee seemed to overly quote. Just look at how Jesus addresses this, “You have heard that it was said,…” The Pharisees were good at teaching the bare bones of the Law. They did not do a good job at telling about the roots of sinful behavior. That is like receiving a bunch of rules at work and never seeing how the rules fit into the overall function of the business.

Jesus here is fixing a commonly known commandment and showing how it starts way before that actual act is committed. Do not commit adultery. This is very straightforward. The problem many have with this teaching is that they always hear “do not” commit the act and never hear how to avoid heading towards it.

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28 (NKJV)

So Jesus teaches us that adultery starts in the heart. Adultery is an act of devising a way to engage in a sexual relationship with someone other than your spouse or with someone else’s spouse. This is not going to be a “no sex before marriage speech” because this is not the main reason for this commandment (though sex outside the covenant of marriage is a sin). God said of the very first marital relationship in Genesis 2:24 that the two become one! To break this “oneness” is to break the covenant between spouses and also breaks the covenant as presented to God. God holds all people to this standard.

With this said, we can look at how lust is a primary component in the development towards an adulterous relationship (Read Radicalis 2010, Part 7 for a better explanation from Rick Warren about how relationships slip away from us).

Kay Warren explains it this way:

How Affairs Develop:

1. Accepting sinful thoughts into your mind - unfettered thoughts lead to feelings and feelings are key to moving you into emotions
2. Emotional, nonphysical involvement - needing to see or hear from someone in your office, at school or even at church! You must realize that people can have affairs of the mind!
3. Physical involvement - touches leading to more
4. Rationalizing the affair - using reason to convince yourself that the affair is justified (in other words, lying to yourself)

Looking at a woman is not a sin. We see women everyday. I will admit that certain ways of dressing do not help the matter but looking is not a crime. The same goes for women seeing men. The problem arises in why and in how we look. If we see someone of the opposite sex and continue on with other things, then we are fine. If we look and then seek another look and then seek another look, we are skating dangerously too close to the edge (if you are married – shame on you!). At this point we should actively find something to change our focus! Why? The next step is to want to “try it on” for a lack of a better analogy.

Notice how Jesus says it – “to look at a woman to lust for her”. “To lust” is the key phrase. To lust shows intention, and it is your active participation in the affair of the heart. Escalation is the only next step. This is why Jesus says the very act of looking with the intent of lust is adultery.

I said all of that to set up the final two verses of this short passage. Is Jesus advocating self-mutilation? No. This is a figurative analogy on His part. How can you decide which eye is the offending member? Jesus wants us to cut off the things that challenge our relationship with our spouses. These are things that demand more attention from us than we give to our spouses but especially things that keep us from spending time with God: work, sports, shopping, or unhealthy television viewing, music or movies. When we lower our resolve against sin, sin becomes easier – we tolerate it! That is a dangerous and slippery slope. Cut it off and do not let it take hold of you.

For a better understanding of how sin affects our bodies, read chapter 8 of “God Attachment” by Dr. Tim Clinton and Dr. Joshua Straub.

• How are you guarding against an affair?
• Why should single people be more guarded in the way they approach relationships?
• How can a husband or wife begin to remove the temptations that weaken their resolve against sin?