If God Used Texting

My friend Heather had this posted on Facebook; as far as I can tell it originated on Timothy McSweeney site and is by Jamie Quatro:

If God had texted the 10 Commandments:
1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. no omg's
3. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
4. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
5. dnt kill ppl
6. :-X only w/ m8
7. dnt steal
8. dnt lie re: bf
9. dnt ogle ur bf’s hse
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.
ttyl, JHWH.
ps. wwjd?