To Spank or Not to Spank - Disciplining Your Kids

The age old question for parents is whether they should or should not spank their kids.  I am pro spanking.  I do not see spanking as a problem.  The problem is how it is administered and when it is administered.  For example, spanking in public is not a good way to get your kids attention but is a good way to get people to look down on them and even possibly you.  Spanking should be a private and intimate moment between adult and child.  At the same, time it must be tempered with our ability to know when and when not to use it.

I think the problem is best addressed by understanding the difference between discipline and  punishment.  Dr. Mary Ruth Stone says, "Discipline stresses what the child should do while punishment stresses what the child should not do.  Discipline is a continuing process while punishment is a one-time event."  She goes on to say that punishment is an emotional release for the adult - this is why so many have difficulty dealing out a proper response to disobedience.  They lack control.

Focus on the Family has put together a series of articles pertaining to discipline and gives answers to many of the questions people have about how to apply godly discipline to garner respect from your kids.  Approaches to Discipline

Before you go there, I just want to give a little advice I learned from Dr. Stone's writings.  Parenting is based on mutual respect.  Kids honor your parents while parents learn not to provoke wrath in you children:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV)

Children who obey their parents, are given this promise - "all may go well" and "you may enjoy long life".  This doesn't mean you will have a long life; it means you will enjoy your life as long as you are on earth!  Disrespect for parents will play out in disrespect for teachers, for police, and other positions of authority.

Parent's your kids will inherit respect from you!  If you bash authority, your kids will bash authority.  If you try to discipline your kids about something you lack in discipline, then they will rebel and disrespect towards you will emerge!  Please understand this.  The Bible says:

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV)

This goes for how you raise your kids.  Your authority as a parent is tarnished if you cannot deal with your own ethical or moral problems.  This is why we as parents need Jesus.  We need Him to show us how He equips us to deal with problems, and how He forgives us when we own up to those problems.  Our kids are waiting for the same respect.  Learn this lesson, and it will last a lifetime - yours and your children's and their children's children.