Moral character makes for smooth traveling; an evil life is a hard life. Proverbs 11:5 (MSG)Character matters. You cannot be a leader without the proper inner strength to maintain your values and behaviors. Character will allow you to do the right thing regardless of danger or situations. Some of the character traits needed in a leader are self-discipline, determination, initiative, compassion, and courage.
I wish I could say that there is a secret formula or algorithm for leadership in all situations. There is not. Leaders have to remain flexible and prepared to gather all information necessary to make decisions as each situation progresses. Dealing with people takes more attention of the leader because each situation among individuals has two sides - listen to both.
It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels, but fools love to pick fights. Proverbs 20:3 (MSG)Character can be strong or weak. Strong character shows in a person: they know what they want, and they have the drive, passion, energy, self-discipline, will power, and courage to get it. A person with weak character is just the opposite. One sign of a person with strong character is the ability to admit when they are wrong and have the ability to apologize for that wrong. This is an act of humility and courage (though some of weak character would say that it is a weakness).
Importance of Character
Your leadership depends on character. I have watched numerous pastors who have lost everything because of moral failings - family torn, churches split, children paying the price. People are watching you and assessing your character. They want to know if they can put themselves in your leadership or care. Kind of like walking into a house for the first time - you don't until the owner knows who you are.
Those who follow want to be led by someone who can provide strength, inspiration, and guidance. Followers follow because they want to win. If you do not display courage, competence, or commitment, those you lead will not follow for long (if they ever start).
Having character means you have developed or stand by your beliefs, values, character, and skills, and you are taking your values for your business, church, or military unit and developing the same traits in your people. All training should reinforce your vision and your mission. Such training will develop confidence, provide motivation, and increase competence in those you lead as they buy-in to your leadership.
Character Building
To build your character you will first need to understand your weaknesses. This will take feedback from those you trust and from those who will just be honest (no matter how much it hurts). As you understand your weaknesses, you will be able to better understand your strengths and work in those strengths! Grow in your strengths and develop leaders who are strong where you are weak, and you become a stronger leader.
Here are a few key ideas for developing a strong and honorable character from the FM 22-100:
- Assess the present strength of your values and character
- Determine what values you want to promote
- Seek out missions and situations that support developing such character
- Select a role model who demonstrates the values and character you are trying to develop
The character you want to instill in those you lead (in your daily example) should be consistent with the values of courage, candor, competence, and commitment. I remember my first days of Basic Training even these 20 years later. I thought and acted like a teenager fresh out of high school, and my drill sergeants wanted me to think like a soldier. Can you imagine that? Me change?. How do you do that? How do we get such transformation in such a short period of time? For the military you retrain the mind by tearing down how they think, show the soldier how to act and when to act and then build them up.
For those in business, you do not have to be so dramatic or drastic. I learned quickly that move means move and stop means stop - failing in those simple directions could mean my life or the life of a team member. Those I trained with counted on me as much as I counted on them. I had to act and operate in the character expected of me.
What I remember the most is the character of my drill sergeants - impeccable. I dreamed of taking on certain traits that I saw in all three of them. I still want to aspire to their ability to lead.
Dealing with Problem Characters
For the military, there are numerous ways to deal with problem characters: mentoring, legal actions, various forms of "physical" attitude adjustments (push-ups, sit-ups and more). In the civilian world, dealing with troubled characters takes more work (especially when dealing with volunteers as I do).
First, you need to understand human nature. Many people want to improve but they need a good role model, a positive set of beliefs, and reinforcement. To understand that person you need to get to know that person: what makes them cry (past hurts and deep concerns), laugh (what gives them joy), and beam (where do they see their life in the future). You may never get that close, but respect comes from others when they see that you genuinely care about them.
Being able to lead others (even troubled characters) comes in teaching, coaching, counseling, training, disciplining, and setting a good example. Do these things and the home owner may invite you into the foyer and eventually into the living room to sit down.
I messed this up royally when I first came to be a sergeant in the army. A soldier was goofing off so I thought I would talk to him about setting a good example and by telling him how much I counted on him to influence the other goof offs (I didn't put it that way). He kept giving me excuses about how so and so wasn't doing their job so he didn't see it necessary to work that hard. I lost my cool. I reprimanded him in front of everyone in an open area. I do not know if I ever gained back his respect.
Some people are set in their ways and will refuse to change (though they may still let you lead them). If you lose your cool with them, however, you may never gain their respect or the respect of others.
Be careful how you lead, but especially be careful in caring for your character. Your leadership depends on it.
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